Lately, people have been divided. No big news there. And while I don\u2019t think disagreement is a problem in itself, it does become problematic\u2014in society, in organizations, even among friends and family. The issue lies in our need to be right. We seek belonging\u2014to a group, a team, a culture. It\u2019s human nature, and we can\u2019t change that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When our sports team wins, we<\/strong> win. When the sports team loses<\/strong>, they<\/strong> lose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m from Quebec, but when someone from Canada wins at the Olympics\u2026 I\u2019m Canadian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When there\u2019s drama between two public figures, you have to choose: Team A or Team B.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy silo is doing fine\u2014it\u2019s the other silos that messed up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n We create these divisions ourselves. We make them to feel we belong. We make them so we can feel we\u2019re on the winning side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I stopped trying to be right a long time ago. Or at least, I try<\/em> not to try to be right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Arguing is, most of the time, emotional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And there\u2019s this thing called the Backfire Effect<\/strong>\u2014when you present someone with evidence that contradicts their beliefs, it usually doesn\u2019t change their mind. In fact, it can make them cling to their original beliefs even more strongly\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because, well\u2014there\u2019s that whole \u201cwinning side\u201d<\/em> thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s okay to enjoy your favorite sport, even if your team doesn\u2019t win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s okay to cheer for another country at the Olympics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You don\u2019t need to take sides when there\u2019s drama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Help other silos instead of blaming them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Break down the divisions that create winners and losers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Seek understanding instead of arguments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Slow down instead of rushing ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Speak softly instead of raising your voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think about the best outcome for everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To become better\u2014as individuals, groups, teams, or cultures\u2014we must actively strive to remain neutral and aim for common ground.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Lately, people have been divided. No big news there. And while I don\u2019t think disagreement is a problem in itself, it does become problematic\u2014in society, in organizations, even among friends and family. The issue lies in our need to be right. We seek belonging\u2014to a group, a team, a culture. It\u2019s human nature, and we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":170,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinions-en"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=134"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":136,"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134\/revisions\/136"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andfriends.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}What if we stop trying to win?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
You don\u2019t have to make a choice\u2026 all the time<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Be \u201caggressively\u201d neutral.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n